After a long period in life identifying as a Butch Lesbian, Cuthand considers transitioning to male. This experience involved a six month period of his life during which he went by the name Sarain, which he would have been called had he been born a boy, and asking to be called by male pronouns. Complicated by mental health crises, Cuthand found themselves in a mental health group home for women, having to hide their gender dysphoria. After a considerable amount of thought and discussion, Cuthand changed his mind and decided to remain a Butch Lesbian. Explaining his decision, she touches on the desire to maintain a connection to the Lesbian community, as well as the sexy genderfucking that happens when one is a masculine woman. Shot partially on location in Hamburg, Germany, riding back and forth on the UBahn is a metaphor for his eventual acceptance of fluctuating between a masculine and a feminine gender. In a nod to his two spirited ancestors, he mentions that he would have been able to make up his own gender had colonization not happened. Since this video was completed, Cuthand decided again to transition to male and use he/him pronouns.
